Another Farewell on 18 September 2011

两年内, 又再向一名亲人永别, 好伤心, 好无奈! 现在只剩下我一人, 还好我有我自己的家庭, 有很强大的支持网, 很幸运. 也很感激姑姑,伯伯, 朋友们的帮忙.

我哥哥那一段挣扎的日子, 还有最后一段的辛苦, 将会永刻于心. 很多时候, 看他很痛苦, 又帮不上忙, 很心痛. 他是名战士, 虽败犹荣. 很内疚. 那段日子没能好好的照顾他. 或许, 怀孕只是一个偷懒的借口. 还好有我的大伯公, 几乎把卖车, 搬家, 丧事事宜一手给包办到完, 了不起!!!

现在暂时只有一种心情, 就是很伤心!

Twin Prenancy - 2nd Trimester

Now I am coming to end of 2nd trimester and it was so eventful during this period. So far, my baby scans showed normal, unable to perform any medical test since they are identical twins. By the time doctor found out that they have their own room, he only ordered a detailed scan, should be good enough else I will need to be poked twice. Hope they keep actively staying in my tummy for at least another 10 weeks because from now on, I am at risk of premature delivery which I hope I do not need that, although I am living in a pressure cooker now with so many things happened. My miserable days does not end yet.

With my tummy growing so big, I am kinda handicap now. Cannot walk fast, cannot stand long. Get backache easily, retarded physical movement. Get exhausted easily, really cannot do much. Not like my 1st prenancy, 9 years younger, singleton prenancy, not much discomfort and physically active (still can go to Spain, go exhibitions, Orchard Road shoppings, etc). Now, only home, work, hospital.

Due to the heavy physically work I had past few weeks, I did feel some dull backache which do not seems good, that is one of the indication of labour. And the spotting, makes me worry everyday.

Yet, during this period, I have to go thru a lot of huge projects, one after another. Like, selling of my brother's house, shifting/clearing of Toa Payoh house, unpacking my own house as all boxes landed in my house. Selling of my brother's car. Changing of address for my brother with one errand after another since he is ill and hospitalised. And, my brother is getting weaker and quite ill. I hope no matter what arangement God has for him, I hope he do not suffer in much pain.

At work, there are some new projects implementation that gives me another set of mental stress, these projects requires my involvement heavily. And, I also need to plan for my handover during my maternaty leave. Every staff in the team has a purpose, by having my workload adding to them, sigh, feel so bad.

头3个月, 如之前所说, 在尽量照料生病的哥哥. 精神不好, 味口不好的我, 只能尽我所能.

接下来的3个月, 压力越来越大, 精神与体力都不支. 发生了很多事.

1. 卖屋 - 哥哥决定把屋子卖掉. 过程还好, 不用太出力.

2. 搬家 - 大工程. 挺着大肚子的我, 没能力了, 只有全靠大伯公一个人包办. 如果他真的有大伯公的神力该多好. 这段期间, 从8月中到9月头, 就得清空大巴窑那间藏有20年历史的公寓式组屋, 还有我本身的东西. 间中有同事帮忙领走一些物品, 累他们跑3趟. 买东西时, 真的要三思. 得好好反省反省!!! 回到自己家后, 那堆积如山的箱子等着我们收拾, 头大.

3. 哥哥病情 - 不是很好, 他越来越辛苦. 我真的无能为力, 又照顾不周, 很过意不去. 只望他不要经历太多痛苦.

4. 工作 - 有新案子, 需跟进, 与美国配合, 试验, 实施. 可能也有人事调动, 令人不安.

以上压力可真不简单, 挺着2个宝宝在肚里, 希望她们乖乖的待在里头至少多10个星期. 偶尔会感觉不适, 有些微微的生产迹象, 希望一切都能熬过来, 等她们出世后, 还有得闹呢.

What a mess in Toa Payoh.
Cleared.

Mess transferred to my house.

I will always remember her.

Big tummy. Not even 6 months yet.